The Importance of Playing with Your Children

Playing is how children process their inner feelings and work out their little-kid real-life issues.

Connection and closeness are crucial to a strong parent-child relationship! There are so many ways parents can connect to their children—and one of the best is through play. Play releases energy and provides opportunities to be involved in a child’s world. Parents who take the time to play with their children strengthen their understanding of their child’s emotional world. I like to play with my boys. It brings me closer in understanding their lives better and allows me to demonstrate appropriate sharing abilities. For example, my three-year-old takes my older son’s toys. My older son gets very angry and yells at the little guy. I could intervene by blaming or ridiculing as a quick fix, or I can choose to connect to both boys and intervene such that everyone wins.

Boys:  Give me that toy—ow! Stop it! Mommy, he’s being

mean!

Mom:  Oh boy, I see everyone’s upset here. It doesn’t feel good

to have someone take your toys without asking, does it?

Older son:  No, it’s mean.

Mom:  Are there a few of these toys that your little brother can

use? If not, I can take him out of the room; just let me

know. (Sitting with three-year-old now) I see you like to play

with things that big brother is using. He is playing with

them. I know you’re mad too! Maybe he’ll let you use them

later. Come with Mama; I have some pretzels and juice for

your snack.

Older son: Okay, he can have two trucks, but only one of my

trains . . .

A child who feels heard holds less resentment and is less oppositional. Giving children the right to express themselves allows them to feel valued, and a valued child wants to get along with others.