Tag Archives: sharing
Teaching Your Young Child How to Share
Most parents want to raise their children to be kind and to share when playing with others. When your toddler refuses to share her toys, she isn’t really being selfish — she’s just acting her age. Sharing is a skill that is developed over time. In the meantime, struggles over toys will be common.
If your child is two or younger, diversion and redirection will be the most effective strategy. Children learn how to share from their parents and their siblings. They pay attention to your actions and they will follow your lead. So if you share, they’ll eventually learn to share. Play side by side with your child and get them accustomed to sharing with you. Share toys, your food or any other items that are safe for them to explore.
Teach your child sharing words:
“Let’s take turns”
“Would you like a try?”
“Can you share?”
If you child is 3 years old or older, and you want to avoid tantrums over sharing, let your child hide a few of his favorite playthings before his friends arrive. Tell him these are toys he doesn’t have to share. Let your child know that the toys that are left out are for everyone. Never punish a child for not sharing and don’t make a big deal out of it. You don’t want sharing to become a power struggle. When he doesn’t share, you can step in and speak for him, once again you are modeling compassion and a behavior that you’d like your child to display.
For more great parenting tips check out Kimberley’s book, www.TheGoToMomsGuide.com.
The Home Town Disadvantage Play Date
Ever wonder why your well-mannered preschooler plays nicely at other people’s homes then becomes a tyrant when a play date is on your home turf? Your overly emotional, stingy, unwilling-to-share child is just learning how to share personal possessions — not knowing if she’ll ever get to play with them again. Sharing is an advanced form of thinking and behaving, so don’t be shocked when you invite a child over for a play date and your little darling clings, grabs and hides her toys.
Your child is cooperative when she goes to play elsewhere because her guard is down and she is in an exploratory role. The novelty of the new toys and play environment keeps her from becoming aggressive and from taking toys from others. She also has an inherent feeling that she does not own the toys and should act accordingly in hopes to keep playing. Children are more likely to share when they’ve had a chance to experience the joy and value of the toy in possession. When parents play with their children and teach turn-taking it helps foster sharing with others.
Tips for peaceful and cooperative play dates on your home turf:
• Prepare your child in advance that a friend is coming over and ask if she’d like to put away her favorite toys since it is difficult for her to share. State that all toys left out are for everyone to enjoy.
• Inform your child that it is not okay to hit, push or take toys
• Encourage her to use her words when she becomes distressed
• Let her know that her friend will explore her toys and you’d like her to cooperate without grabbing
• Remind her that we she goes to a friend’s home that they share with her and you’d like her to do the same
• Empathize and let her know you know how hard it is to share
• Model sharing by playing with your child and sharing your personal items that are safe and appropriate (hair brush, scarves, blankets, etc)
• Just because children may not share toys doesn’t mean that they don’t like each other. It takes time for children to adjust to regular play dates – especially at their own home.
• Keep the play dates consistent (by setting up regular dates) and prepare children ahead of time of what you expect. A good play date is when everyone wins!
For more great parenting tips, check out Kimberley’s book www.TheGoToMomsGuide.com.
