Tag Archives: empathizing
The Preschool Whisperer Tip Five – Dealing With Emotions has To Be Part of Any Parenting Strategy During Times of Discipline
Despite good intentions, today’s parents still rely on what is familiar and comfortable, which means they engage in some of the outdated parenting techniques used by their parents or in some cases in opposition to their parents.
Occasionally I encounter a parent who becomes defensive during the initial part of my parenting class. They have a hard time accessing their own feelings and say, “I can’t emotion-coach, “ or “I don’t think it’s a good idea to constantly tend to my child by always having to ask them how they feel.” They have no idea how to deal with their child’s heated emotions and think it may be coddling or fueling the fire. I ask them to trust me and disclose that I didn’t benefit from being raised in a home where emotional expression was forbidden.
As a child and as a young adult, I was at a disadvantage and it took me well over 25 years to master healthy emotional balance. Luckily in these modern times, parents are encouraged to address the myriad feelings they and their child experience as a regular part of child-rearing.
Research has found that various quick fixes and behavioral approaches are not effective in the long-run. Emotion coaching is dignified and gentle and works well. My book is available on Pre-order status. If you buy it now it will show up on your door step by Sept. 6th. I do hope you take the plunge and become your child’s emotion coach. I know you can do it! Please feel free to interact w/ me on Twitter and let me know what you’re currently using in your parenting tool box. I’m @TheGoToMom
The Preschool Whisperer – Tip One: Emotion Coach Your Young Child
Despite good intentions, today’s parents still rely on what is familiar and comfortable, which means they engage in some of the outdated parenting techniques used by their parents or in some cases in opposition to their parents.
As an emotion coach, you come from a place of empathy. Your first thought is always, “What is my child feeling?” before jumping in and discounting or minimizing whatever just happened or was said. When your child is in distress, the first step is to just go over, check in and assess.
If parents teach their young children how to process uncomfortable feelings such as hurt, shame, guilt or anger, they’ll learn to process them appropriately and carry that skill with them into their adult relationships and into the work place.
We all have room for improvement as parents. I encourage you to watch my Go-To Mom show and try to become more of an emotion coach. Remember to give yourself a break because parenting isn’t easy. If you have difficulty addressing your own emotions, make it a priority to change that – I’m living proof that one can change their negative experience with their emotions. I have faith you too can grow and learn with your child the way I do with mine.
I am a passionate believer in emotion coaching, because it ensures a successful outcome: cooperative, self-reliant and responsible children. And isn’t that every parent’s goal?
For more great parenting tips, check out Kimberley’s book, www.TheGoToMomsGuide.com.
