Supernanny Has It All Wrong: You don’t have to hurt a child to teach them a lesson!

By Dr. Ann Corwin

Once again the SuperNanny has it all wrong this week. Having a child in distress for over 3 hours in order to teach the child that the parent is in charge, is abuse, in my opinion. The 5 year old was never given anything in order to help her soothe herself when she was in distress. The Super nanny actually says on ‘prime time television’ that this little girl refused to do her punishment.

Once and for all let’s get this straight: punishment NEVER changes behavior, only discipline does. Discipline comes from the word disciple, which means to teach so someone can follow. Parents always teach your children how to comfort themselves when they need or have to be away from you.

First Jo starts out with an observation of the family. She put them on the spot as she assesses the situation. That makes the parents feel judged and makes them second guess if they are good parents. Not a good message in my opinion. How about teaching families how to ‘watch’ themselves and see what they discover about their family?

I want parents to know it is ‘safe’ for them to ‘look’ at the patterns in their family to discover what works and what doesn’t.

Here’s an idea for parents: pretend there is a video camera on your shoulder and no one gets to look at it but you. When your child is ‘misbehaving’ what do you do in response to your child?

When does the behavior happen, is it only withy you or at school too? Parents can then use that information to figure out what needs changing.

Again I have to mention the ridiculous use of the ‘time-out’ technique. Dad picks up his child facing him and talks to his child all the way through about the ‘bad’ behavior. The child is brought to a specific place, the ‘cubes’, in order to change behavior.

Please remember parents that time and place never change behavior. It is the ‘out’ of the time out that re-teaches kids what you want them to do. Because if a child is alone they will talk to themselves about how to change their behavior so they can once again be with their parent.

Way to go Jo you did set Dad straight with some wonderful insight and techniques to help him understand normal ‘pretend’ play for 3ytear olds. And Mom getting dirty was awesome.

And you were ALMOST on the right track with ‘snack box’. Remember, the way we learn healthy eating habits is not focusing on when and where you eat, but listening to your body when you are hungry. Some people are snackers, some eat three square meals a day and neither one of these the ‘right’ way to eat, just a style.

Visit Dr. Ann at www.TheParentingdoctor.com