8 Ways on How to Be a Stellar Friend

“A Friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same.”  – Elbert Hubbar

Be a Good Listener – which means do less talking and more listening. Listening is a powerful way to allow others room to grow and flourish.  When people feel heard they feel more whole, respected and are more likely to take interest in you and invest in the friendship. 

It’s about them, them, them – Yes it’s true. You job is not to be about me, me, me when you’re hanging with others. It’s exciting to share with our friends, but be mindful of just how much  jibber jabber that goes on about youself. Be sure to ask how they’re doing, what’s new in their life, are they okay, and if there’s anything you can do for them. The more you give to your friends the more they’ll see the genuine interest you have for them. The more you give the more you’ll get.  

Reach out often and without reticence – Some people feel if they keep reaching out they’ll be seen as an annoyance, but the reality is many people are busy. Yes, so busy that they do appreciate when you reach out once, twice and more. Friendships are give and take. There will be times when you’re doing all the planning and reaching out and vice versa.

 Give them benefit of the doubt – We all makes mistakes. Having good boundaries and open communication is key with friends we’re close with. When friends mess up or do you wrong give them the benefit of the doubt. You have to trust that they have good intentions or maybe weren’t thinking straight that day… They, and you, will falter at times. Don’t let one bad exchange ruin a lifetime of friendship. Keep communication open and try to remain free of resentment.

Speak your feelings when concerns arise  – One of the main reasons friendships hit hard times is because of resentment has built up.  Resentment will break up any good relationship so It’s imperative to never allow that feeling to creep up on you. Resentment comes from constantly feeling disrespected, or being mistreated or short-changed. If you voice your concerns appropriately the minute you feel them you can avoid resentment from festering.

Honor your differences. – Sometimes the very thing that attracts us to our friends is their uniqueness. Once we find they’re too different or have too many other interests that we don’t have, may put stress on the bond. And after a while you may find yourself more distant then ever before. Or possibly they engage in something that you disapprove of.  No body is perfect. Keep judgments out of the equation – unless you feel it’s truly getting in the way of your relationship with them. Their life, actions or decisions are not yours. Do we really have a right to judge others? We couldn’t possibly know what is going on in their heads or in their hearts.

Have their back no matter what – Negatively bonds people. When someone is gossiping it’s easy to get all caught up in the drama. A real friend has your back at ALL TIMES. Don’t fall prey to someone who is trying to get you to see the ‘bad’ or ‘negative’ side of your friend. Your only concern is your relationship with your friend and not the outside influence of other people’s issues.

Relationships have cycles and phases – There will be times in life where you and your closest friend may drift apart. Friendships have life cycles that wax and wane. There may be many years that you don’t spend much time together and other years where you reconnect on things that you share in common. Don’t give up on friendship that seem to be fizzling out – take a little break, let time pass and when the timing is right the universe will shift so you can re-unite.