Despite good intentions, today’s parents still rely on what is familiar and comfortable, which means they engage in some of the outdated parenting techniques used by their parents or in some cases in opposition to their parents.
Occasionally I encounter a parent who becomes defensive during the initial part of my parenting class. They have a hard time accessing their own feelings and say, “I can’t emotion-coach, “ or “I don’t think it’s a good idea to constantly tend to my child by always having to ask them how they feel.” They have no idea how to deal with their child’s heated emotions and think it may be coddling or fueling the fire. I ask them to trust me and disclose that I didn’t benefit from being raised in a home where emotional expression was forbidden.
As a child and as a young adult, I was at a disadvantage and it took me well over 25 years to master healthy emotional balance. Luckily in these modern times, parents are encouraged to address the myriad feelings they and their child experience as a regular part of child-rearing.
Research has found that various quick fixes and behavioral approaches are not effective in the long-run. Emotion coaching is dignified and gentle and works well. My book is available on Pre-order status. If you buy it now it will show up on your door step by Sept. 6th. I do hope you take the plunge and become your child’s emotion coach. I know you can do it! Please feel free to interact w/ me on Twitter and let me know what you’re currently using in your parenting tool box. I’m @TheGoToMom
