Babies Don’t Need Flashcards or iPads—They Need You

Babies need your time and attention, a predictable environment, and consistent loving caregiving. Dr. Bruce Perry from the Child Trauma Academy has done fascinating research around the predictability of children’s environments. A child will be fulfilled and emotionally balanced if his parents provide a nurturing and rich social environment on a familiar and sustained basis. Perry speaks about the attentive parent who gives her baby the necessary “somatosensory bath”: hugging, rocking, kissing, singing, bathing, feeding, and gazing into baby’s eyes. This somatosensory bath matures over time and gets replaced by other forms of adult interactions. We can see why adults enjoy being hugged; it takes them back to a time when they felt most safe and loved. Did you know that you (yes you!) are more captivating and entertaining than any other plaything? Babies love to gaze into your eyes, hear your voice, and watch your facial gestures. Sing, babble, massage, and play peek-a-boo with your baby as a bonding experience. Your baby is watching and she’s lurking—even when you think she’s not paying attention, she really is. Our children are great imitators, so we need to be on our best behavior. Children begin to imitate those they spend the most time with—and this behavior takes roots very early on. Infants and toddlers learn about their world by first observing and then practicing. If we set good examples, then our children will take notice and begin to follow suit. The same goes for negative examples. If you use foul language and have angry outbursts, then your child will mimic your style when he has the opportunity. Children don’t know any better and will take the lead from the most trusted people in their lives—their parents. If you notice that your baby is nearing ten months old and is not reciprocating your interactions (for  example, not cooing back at you or smiling) or avoids eye contact, call your pediatrician immediately. Early intervention is quite effective for children with special needs.